I start writing again

I remember I started writing blog posts about 13 years ago, during my gap year when I was preparing for my university entrance exam, kind of like the SAT. But when one of my college friends found my blog, I suddenly felt so embarrassed that someone I knew had read it. I ended up deleting the whole thing. At the time I used my real name, and I just did not like the idea of people knowing too much about me?

Fast forward to today, I've been thinking about starting a blog again. I feel I need a space to reflect and write about my life. For years, I've been dealing with anxiety and dysthymia, and therapy hasn't been as helpful as I hoped. In the past, I used to see my therapist once a week (or whenever she's available), and each session is just 45 minutes. It often feels like I'm just giving her a quick report of what's been happening, and before I know it, time's up.

Finding someone who genuinely listens is not easy either. When you open up to people, there is always that risk, that they might share your story with others, twist a few details, and it spirals into something you never even said.

Recently, things have been rough. I am applying for grad school while juggling with work and everything feels so overwhelming. The people closest to me aren't always around, and I don't want to burden them. That's why writing might be a good outlet. It could be a way to process my thoughts and ease my anxiety. But more than just venting, I hope my writing can offer something meaningful to others as well.

So there you go... My first post. :)