Empty

Lately, everything seems a bit blurry. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. A mix of the two and it's a mess.

I'd wish to not feel, but being on a perpetual high, due to the pill-popping, makes me feel emptier than usual. The emptiness engulfs me, leaving me completely bare and broken.

I've been feeling like this for the last 10 years. The people in my life have changed, but these feelings stay. Like a festering wound that doesn't look like much in the beginning, but on the surface can you really tell what's going on with anything?

It's very difficult to explain to people what's going on with me. And also, do I really have to explain myself to people? I think I'll skip the questioning looks and the pitying glances, thank you very much.

Sadness becomes comfortable after a while, no? I think that's what's disturbing. That sadness is the most familiar feeling and any feeling other than that feels alien. Oooh, I wonder what my therapist would say about this.