Don't fall in love young

Weird huh. They always say fall in love young. I did. And I screwed up. There must be something wrong me with me. I think I secretly enjoy the tragedy of a lost relationship. Sick I know. I'm just psychoanalyzing myself.

All those years invested into relationships with nothing to show for it in the end. Just a broken heart. Some trauma. Lots of good memories.

I sacrificed a lot. Now I don't even have a companion. No one to talk to at the end of the day. My iPad flickers at night. My phone by the side, the only company I keep at night. My distractions from a fucked up life.

Hopeless romantic.

Maturity is realizing you are the one who screwed up those chances because you weren't ready. It all slowly creeps into you. When you hit late 20s.

When you are young, you don't think about that. The world is your oyster. There are so many people, how can I not find someone?

With time, the question creeps up. What if I never really find someone? What a tragedy it'd be to fall in love, lose it and probably never find something of the same intensity again.

I'm sorry. I was just operating with what I knew at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. If I had only known, I'd have held you closer, a little while longer.