Conflicted Hearts
I looked at her, her head on my shoulders, hand in hand. No dear reader, we aren’t a couple. I was lucky, but not lucky enough.
We operate in the greys. There’s a space between friendship and love — an unspoken pact between a man and a women. A line in sand that you cannot cross. All it takes is one wave. Beautiful agony.
“So we are just friends?” I said as I squeezed her hands.
“Poda” She stared at me with those piercing eyes.
Mutta kanni
She moved away a few inches. It’s okay, she will be back.
I knew I liked her. I had tortured myself over the last few months — she was with another man. I couldn’t get myself to confess my feelings for her.
I should’ve, I really should’ve. Top 3 regrets in my life.
We held hands. She even kissed me once. No it was not a friendly peck, I’m sure, she missed my lips by a few centimeters.
It didn’t matter now, it was already too late. I had started seeing this other girl recently.
Our chapter was coming to a close. Well for normal people it would’ve, but we weren’t normal, we were deeply flawed individuals. The young blood didn’t pay much attention to morals.
“You may deny it, but this is our reality.”
“Why does it have to be this way, sollu?” She said
I wish I had the answer.
How do I always manage to get myself in these relationships that aren’t really relationships?
“Why didn’t we happen? Everything would’ve been so easy no?” I asked.
“Ama, and we could’ve gotten married and lived happily ever after.” She sighed.
She moved closer and took my hand.
Tamil words:
Mutta Kanni: Girl with Round Eyes
Poda: Go away
Sollu: Tell me