a lost mind

today i cannot keep myself from not publishing something. i have some ideas for a blogpost in my notes app, but they require research and thorough input. so i have decided to write and publish whatever comes to my mind.

co-incidently today is also the day i picked up a fresh notebook and wrote my journal entry after a very long time. honestly it felt refreshing and i still feel like writing more.

the question which is in the back of my mind at the moment is what should i focus on? should i go deeper into coding and porgramming or should i stick to design? or should i continue my academic pursuits for an advanced degree? as much as computer systems fascinate me, i cannot stop admiring simple and accessible designs. but i also want to be an academically intellect person. i do want a stable and high paying career but i also do not want to stick to one thing for the rest of my life. i think i have a decently creative eye for things but i do not have much confidence. honestly it is such a wierd position to be in. sometimes i think maybe i wasn't exposed to all these disciplines and my mind wasn't curious enough. but the thing is idk if i am curious enough. because if so, i would have figured out something for myself ny now, no?

i will run out of word limit soon. so i think we bid adieu for now and i would love for you to join me in this journey of figuring out my career. see you in the next post!