6th July - Conversations with mom
I missed journalling yesterday. But i do want to capture my thoughts. So here goes.
I had a conversation with mummy today. I was as usual badgering her about not having confidence, not putting herself out there, etc. But after a while, i realised something that I have always known, but did not register.
Mom's problem is not knowing herself. She does not know her likes, dislikes, wants, etc. Why am I forcing her to push herself even though thats not what she wants to do?
So I am forcing her to start looking inwards. To start journalling. I took my book, i write down 3 questions, and i want her to write down in it everyday.
- What 3 things made me happy today?
- What new thing do i want to do?
- What memory do I have where i am proud of myself?
I know I am very pushy with mummy. That is not good, but i also feel that as a family we feel the need to constantly be pushed, cuz we dont have intrinsic motivation.
Mom was very sad yesterday and was telling me her sad stories and memories. I felt like it was a very repetitive, i did not have the energy to listen to her anymore, so i actually stopped her. I should not have done that, but my head was pounding. I just have much more patience for strangers than i do for loved ones.