Jul 11, 2022

11th July - Starting trouble

Today was a day when i was having starting trouble

The only thing that really got me kicked up and ready to go was when i got a call from an external entity. What do i learn from this?

I do not like moving when I do not know have any plan in place about how to achieve what I want to achieve
I am almost always more motivated by the fear of failure and extrinsically than I am internally
Once I actually start working and getting into the flow, I enjoy it when I am proud of the output I can give.

I really really love musti and am very happy to have him in my life. But because of how happy and wonderful he makes my life, I’m just sitting here wondering how it’s going to fuck up. Because God can’t possibly allow someone to be that happy all the time, right? And I have never properly suffered. I’m really scared about when and how it will all go away.

Personal Journal

Pari's personal journal

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13th Feb

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Jan 26, 2023

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More from Personal

I was just complimented and I will cry

9th April - career directions

13th Feb

28th Jan - facing the very real possibility of what I thought would be “impossible”

27th Jan 23 - Conversations with Appu